Spandau Ballet

A very great British Pop Band from the 80’s……..Their hit song ‘True’ speaks to the soul…..

I know this much is true……….But what is really true? Do we admit the truth? Do we even live within truth? Or is there nothing as it seems and we are all dwelling day to day within lies and make believe. Do we run from truth, afraid of the shame or pain that it may bring? Does it burn like fire when it shoots through our ears?

Truth. The thing we hate, yet the thing that frees us. I know this much is true…..none can handle truth.

I tossed and turned last night

I must have rehearsed the lines a thousand times – knowing they STILL would not come out the way I want them

I recounted the few times in the past that Ive done this and failed miserably

I went over ALL the reason in my mind why not……..and then why

Then with full (well maybe not full) more like partial boldness…..anxiety…..fear….I told you…

I told you that I once stood in your face and lied to you..that when I told you I didnt like you… I lied….

There was silence…and akward silence…then like high school kids we both agreed the silence was far to akward for the both of us and we changed the subject……

But now you know……because I finally told you..that I like more more then I was ever willing to admit…..

Its so interesting how life truly does happen while you are doing the planning. Its as though you can wake up one morning and your entire life can be changed in an instant.

I woke up a few months ago and became a mother. Instantly my life was different and will never be the same.  Now what I do is never any longer just for me and the decisions I make dont just involve me, but someone else. Also I am last….and that is truly something to get used to.  There is always plently of work to do and plenty to stress about if you let it… LOL

I had a WONDERFUL birthday. Not only did I get my new Jeep that I asked for but the Alicia Keys concert was OFF THE HOOK! I love her, she is so talented.  Milwaukee is an OK place, but I certainly wouldnt want to live there.  But the concert was nice. I just came from a picnic this Sat that must have included EVERY black person in chicago and the adjoining cities!! It was fantastic…nothing but music, beautiful faces, families, food, and more music from morning til night…(I am still recovering)

This is why I love summer…….I guess you cant appreciate it without winter though ..anyways,,,just a few things that are going on in my life.  As for my love life…well….thats a different story……I may have to sit and explain that on the next blog when I have more time…..Right now I dont…But I’ll put it like this….I know what I want, but God knows what I need….

Catch you all later….

Happy Birthday to me!!

My 31st birthday is Tues and I cant wait…I already got the one thing I had been praying for and thats my new Car……..(That is, in addtion to my daughter  

I have some nice plans..My mother is taking my God child for a few days, and I am going to the Alicia Keys concert in Milwaukee, WI with male friend of mine…afterwards we are going to a nice dinner and probably just drive around to see the city a little ( you know, I have been there a few times and never really got to just drive around).  I am looking forward to just relaxing with no stress and nothing to have to to be in attendance to for a short time…

I know we hear this all the time, but God really does work in mysterious ways..

I decided my car had quit on me for the last time so I took two buses, and walked eight blocks to the auto dealership. I had no idea if I would get a loan or even have to take two buses back home. But after three hours and a little stress I drove away in a brand new Jeep.

Come to find out my engine died on my eclipse……Man, what a blessing!

I swear these songs today are really a bad  influence on our children….(Even though I find it hilarious to see them trying to sing and dance to something they dont understand)

“Papi shop it” That the closest my three year old gets to singing the actual song, but boy can she do the dance….Now ask her to count to 20 and thats a different story….

So parents…the next time “Papi shop it” comes on the radio, turn the station ~ lol

In the last post I wrote about standing your ground. If you make a choice, you must stick by the decision you have made because afterall, you made it for a reason.  But sometimes you do second guess yourself. You wonder if maybe you are not allowing a human to be flawed and just accepting them for who they are.  If maybe your departure was more for self~proctection rather then for a better well~being.

How do you know the difference?  Is one clue to it all is weather or not the wiork seems greater than the worth? He’s not a bad person, very intelligent even. He’s had his share of issues just as the rest of us.  But I cant take someone whom doesnt seem to try to overcome those issues.  He’s humbled himself time and time again and thats a decent sign of character…But I dont know, perhaps sleeping dogs should just lye.

Ever made up your mind about something or someone only to find yourself drifting back into the past state of mind you were in before?? Ever walked away from something and called it quits only to find yourself when things are calm and you have quiet time to have that very thing cross your mind?

Well thats what happened to me last night…… I stood in his face a few weeks ago and maturely told him goodbye….but I think of him….yet, no matter what I must stand my ground.

Good Morning all

Another busy week lies ahead…..My Birthday is actually in a few weeks and I am planning a trip back to New York….I go there way to often and really should try other places, but I LOVE that place!

Its been so rainy here these last couple of days, but looks as though the sun is back out this morning…(funny how that works isnt it?) The sun always seem to return..

Anyway ~ Have a very blessed day everyone……..Dont forget to thank God for the air you breathe…Its only through his grace that you are alive to read this…

Dont worry about the people in your PAST

There’s a reason they didnt make it to your FUTURE….